I Know Your Name, I See Your Face
Dear Claire:
It is Father's Day, 2008 and I believe that I am the happiest father on the planet!
Claire. I finally know your name! For so long, now ... I've written and thought about a child who I could only call "little one." I did not know your name. I could not see your face. I did not know if "little one" was even a boy or a girl (but I was hoping for a girl!). Your Mom and I have done our best to trust God in building our forever family. But for such a long time, I wasn't sure if my "little one" was real.
Now I know your name. Claire is our chosen name for you. We chose it because Claire means glorious. That fits you well. I haven't even met you, but I know in my heart that you are glorious gift from God. You have a name that also will forever be part of your roots. That name is Qiuxia. In Chinese, it means "clouds in autumn." I suspect you received that name because you were born on August 15, just prior to the autumn harvest in China. Put your names together ... Claire Qiuxia .. and it means "glorious clouds in autumn." I love autumn. I love the briskness in the air, I love the radiance and changing colors of nature. For me, autumn always signaled a season of renewal. And I know that will be true this autumn, when God introduces you to Helena and I and we become a forever family. I've read that you love the outdoors. Here is what the profile about you: "She would touch the flowers and grass and laugh loudly and happily whenver she saw them on the lawn. " I can't wait to take your hand, and go on some Saturday morning Daddy-daughter walks this autumn in the forest preserve near our house. I'll show you the awesome power of God as the leave change colors and nature transforms. I'll show you the glorious clouds in autumn. I believe that same awesome power of God is what brought you to us.
Now I can see your face. You are beautiful! Every time I look at you, I fall more in love with you! I can see a little girl who knows she is well-loved. I can see a little girl who loves to smile, laugh and express herself. I can see a little girl who loves to read picture books. I can see a little girl with precious dreams. I can see a little girl who will become my little princess. And then my big princess. And one day, a beautiful woman whose life and legacy is one that honors and glorifies God.
Being a Daddy has been the deepest desire of my heart for a long time. And to be honest, sometimes I wondered whether that dream would ever come true. Maybe I didn't have what it takes to be a Dad? Maybe God had another plan for me? That made me sad.
But now I know your name. I can see your face. I can imagine you. As I write this on Sunday night in the United States, I know that it is almost noontime on Monday for you. I imagine you coming in from playing outside. You are laughing. You are smiling. And as you eat lunch, you are sharing your food generously with the other children (I know that's true, because they said that's what you do!)
I also know that I'll hold you in my arms very soon. God has blessed me with a wonderful gift, Claire. The gift of fatherhood. The gift of YOU. He does have a plan for me. And He knows I have what it takes to be a Dad. And to prove it, He will entrust me to care for you --- one of His most treasured children. I'm not sad anymore! Now, I feel happy, excited, tender ... and even scared to tell you the truth.
I will love you well, Claire. I promise. Sometimes I'll get that right. And sometimes I'll probably mess that up. But ... I will always do my very best to love you well. I will claim you. I will fight for you. I will cry for you. I will be available and accessible. I will tuck you in at night. I will read you stories. I will teach you how to ride a bike. I'll take you to the park ... and then maybe Oberweiss or Dairy Queen afterward (don't tell Mommy!).
Thanks for making me the happiest Father on the planet this Father's Day!
Love,
Daddy
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Early Post: Meet Your Mom (December, 2006)
Jeff's Note: This is the second post of an initial blog we started when our adoption process became "official" in December, 2006. At the time, we lived in our first home in Arlington Heights, IL.
30 December 2006
Meet Your Mom
Dear Little One:
Next to the miracle of you coming to us, I believe your Mom is the best part of the entire story. So, I thought I'd introduce you to her first thing. Her name is Helena. And next to the gift of God himself, your Mom is the most magnificent gift that God has ever blessed me with. She is an extraordinary woman. And I know that she and you will become the best of friends. Just this morning, your Mom and I were talking about you. It made her cry. We don't even know you, yet. We don't know if you've even been born. We don't know if you're a boy or a girl. We don't know anything like that. But we do know that some day, you are coming. Mom talks about that day a lot. She imagines what that day will be like. Until then, she prays for you every day. She prays that God will lead us to you. Whenever we talk about you, Mom cries. She doesn't cry because she's sad. She cries because you already have a special place in her heart and she wants to draw closer to you every day.
I knew there was something special about your Mom the day I met her. That would have been sometime back in about ... 2001 or so (she'll probably challenge me on that because she says I always get my numbers mixed up.) I met her at church. I can show you the exact place ... and one day, I will. From the day I met her, I knew I'd see her again. Soon enough, you'll see what I mean. When I think of your Mom, I always go to a verse in the Bible ... it is Matthew 5:16:"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
When I first met your Mom, I knew that God's light is inside of her. And I could see early that she was a light to others. Want to hear something cool? This will give you an idea of how awesome God really is. Take a guess at what your Mom's name - Helena - really means? Well, if you go back to Latin and some of the earliest languages in history, you'll learn that your mom's name means "torch" or "moon." And guess what's special about the moon or a torch? They are always giving off light ... just like your Mom.
I like this picture, over here to the left (she's not as fond of it as I am). In fact, I like
this picture so much, I carry it with me everywhere I go. Tell me what you see? I see a woman who is gentle and tender-hearted. I see someone who is thoughtful and deliberate. I see someone who is beautiful on the inside and on the outside. I see someone who is confident in her relationship with God. I see a woman who is well-loved (I'll take a little credit for that!). I see a woman with a light heart. I see a woman who is incredibly humble (speaking of which, Mom probably thinks I'm getting carried away right now). I see a woman who casts light into others. I see a Mom who some day, will cast light into you. Can you see it, too? I knew you would!
Your mom is smart. She always did really well in school. She studied hard, and she got good grades. She went to high school, college, and then went on to get two different graduate degrees (that's one better than Dad!). For a long time, she worked in the business world. She worked for a large insurance company. She worked hard and did well. But after about 13 years or so, she got a leading from God to do something else (this is where the casting light part comes in). God led Mom on a path to become a Christian counselor. That is what she is today. Mom draws close to other people, helps them with the problems they have in life, and then she helps them draw closer to God. That makes your Mom happy. And it makes God happy, too. Your mom is a great listener, which is probably why God led her to become a counselor. She's going to love listening to you tell her about your day, what you learned, who you met, and how you feel. She'll make you feel like the most special person in the world. (Trust me, I know!)
Your mom loves to read. She'll read up to 4-5 different books at a time (that drives Dad a little crazy. I always wonder how she keeps track of what she's reading! Daddy can only read one book at a time.) In fact, just last night, Mom was up until the wee hours of the morning reading a book that a friend gave her for Christmas. I know that Mom is going to be reading lots and lots of stories to you. (Make sure she reads you one called "You Are Special." That's one of Dad's favorites!)
Your mom loves home more than any other place in the world. Mom loves our house. She says it fits us just right. It is cozy, it is peaceful and it is in a great neighborhood (wait until you see the park down the street!). Dad thinks the house is actually a little small, but Mom loves it ... so I'm not pushing my luck. A perfect day for Mom at home is a good book, a comfortable couch, an open window, a cup of tea, fresh air and sunny skies. She'll love to share a day like that with you.
Your mom loves her family. She especially loves her own Mom ... another very special woman you'll come to know as Mor-Mor (that's Swedish for Grandma). Mor-M
or is your Mom's Inspiration Here's a picture of Mor-Mor and your Mom over to the right. Mor-Mor also loves God very much. God has been a part of Mor-Mor's life for a long time. And thanks to God's faithfulness, Mor-Mor has been a very strong and courageous woman all of her life. Mor-Mor has taught your Mom everything she knows. Mor- Mor has always been faithful (she prays for you all the time). God has blessed Mor-Mor for being faithful.Just like your Mom, Mor-Mor loves God and her family more than anything else in the world. Mor- Mor is your Mom's biggest fan. Once I asked your Mom who understood her better than anyone in the world. Without hesitating, some tears came to her eyes and she said "My Mom." Mor-Mor is the person who taught your Mom how to love God and how to love other people.
My prayer is that one day if somone asks you that question: "Hey little one, who understands you better than anyone else in the world?" That a tear or two will come to your eyes, and ... without hesitating ... you'll say ... "My Mom."
I have a lot more to tell you about your Mom ..... her favorite color (blue), what she likes to eat (fresh fruit), what makes her laugh (Dad), her favorite stories, her best friends, and her favorite childhood memories (growing up on the family farm in Sweden).
But you and I will have plenty of time for that. In the meantime, I hope and pray that you will come to feel the same way that I do about your Mom. You have a special place in Mom's heart ... and it gets bigger and bigger every day.
Waiting patiently,
Dad
30 December 2006
Meet Your Mom
Dear Little One:
Next to the miracle of you coming to us, I believe your Mom is the best part of the entire story. So, I thought I'd introduce you to her first thing. Her name is Helena. And next to the gift of God himself, your Mom is the most magnificent gift that God has ever blessed me with. She is an extraordinary woman. And I know that she and you will become the best of friends. Just this morning, your Mom and I were talking about you. It made her cry. We don't even know you, yet. We don't know if you've even been born. We don't know if you're a boy or a girl. We don't know anything like that. But we do know that some day, you are coming. Mom talks about that day a lot. She imagines what that day will be like. Until then, she prays for you every day. She prays that God will lead us to you. Whenever we talk about you, Mom cries. She doesn't cry because she's sad. She cries because you already have a special place in her heart and she wants to draw closer to you every day.
I knew there was something special about your Mom the day I met her. That would have been sometime back in about ... 2001 or so (she'll probably challenge me on that because she says I always get my numbers mixed up.) I met her at church. I can show you the exact place ... and one day, I will. From the day I met her, I knew I'd see her again. Soon enough, you'll see what I mean. When I think of your Mom, I always go to a verse in the Bible ... it is Matthew 5:16:"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
When I first met your Mom, I knew that God's light is inside of her. And I could see early that she was a light to others. Want to hear something cool? This will give you an idea of how awesome God really is. Take a guess at what your Mom's name - Helena - really means? Well, if you go back to Latin and some of the earliest languages in history, you'll learn that your mom's name means "torch" or "moon." And guess what's special about the moon or a torch? They are always giving off light ... just like your Mom.
I like this picture, over here to the left (she's not as fond of it as I am). In fact, I like
this picture so much, I carry it with me everywhere I go. Tell me what you see? I see a woman who is gentle and tender-hearted. I see someone who is thoughtful and deliberate. I see someone who is beautiful on the inside and on the outside. I see someone who is confident in her relationship with God. I see a woman who is well-loved (I'll take a little credit for that!). I see a woman with a light heart. I see a woman who is incredibly humble (speaking of which, Mom probably thinks I'm getting carried away right now). I see a woman who casts light into others. I see a Mom who some day, will cast light into you. Can you see it, too? I knew you would!Your mom is smart. She always did really well in school. She studied hard, and she got good grades. She went to high school, college, and then went on to get two different graduate degrees (that's one better than Dad!). For a long time, she worked in the business world. She worked for a large insurance company. She worked hard and did well. But after about 13 years or so, she got a leading from God to do something else (this is where the casting light part comes in). God led Mom on a path to become a Christian counselor. That is what she is today. Mom draws close to other people, helps them with the problems they have in life, and then she helps them draw closer to God. That makes your Mom happy. And it makes God happy, too. Your mom is a great listener, which is probably why God led her to become a counselor. She's going to love listening to you tell her about your day, what you learned, who you met, and how you feel. She'll make you feel like the most special person in the world. (Trust me, I know!)
Your mom loves to read. She'll read up to 4-5 different books at a time (that drives Dad a little crazy. I always wonder how she keeps track of what she's reading! Daddy can only read one book at a time.) In fact, just last night, Mom was up until the wee hours of the morning reading a book that a friend gave her for Christmas. I know that Mom is going to be reading lots and lots of stories to you. (Make sure she reads you one called "You Are Special." That's one of Dad's favorites!)
Your mom loves home more than any other place in the world. Mom loves our house. She says it fits us just right. It is cozy, it is peaceful and it is in a great neighborhood (wait until you see the park down the street!). Dad thinks the house is actually a little small, but Mom loves it ... so I'm not pushing my luck. A perfect day for Mom at home is a good book, a comfortable couch, an open window, a cup of tea, fresh air and sunny skies. She'll love to share a day like that with you.
Your mom loves her family. She especially loves her own Mom ... another very special woman you'll come to know as Mor-Mor (that's Swedish for Grandma). Mor-M
or is your Mom's Inspiration Here's a picture of Mor-Mor and your Mom over to the right. Mor-Mor also loves God very much. God has been a part of Mor-Mor's life for a long time. And thanks to God's faithfulness, Mor-Mor has been a very strong and courageous woman all of her life. Mor-Mor has taught your Mom everything she knows. Mor- Mor has always been faithful (she prays for you all the time). God has blessed Mor-Mor for being faithful.Just like your Mom, Mor-Mor loves God and her family more than anything else in the world. Mor- Mor is your Mom's biggest fan. Once I asked your Mom who understood her better than anyone in the world. Without hesitating, some tears came to her eyes and she said "My Mom." Mor-Mor is the person who taught your Mom how to love God and how to love other people.My prayer is that one day if somone asks you that question: "Hey little one, who understands you better than anyone else in the world?" That a tear or two will come to your eyes, and ... without hesitating ... you'll say ... "My Mom."
I have a lot more to tell you about your Mom ..... her favorite color (blue), what she likes to eat (fresh fruit), what makes her laugh (Dad), her favorite stories, her best friends, and her favorite childhood memories (growing up on the family farm in Sweden).
But you and I will have plenty of time for that. In the meantime, I hope and pray that you will come to feel the same way that I do about your Mom. You have a special place in Mom's heart ... and it gets bigger and bigger every day.
Waiting patiently,
Dad
Early Post: The Christmas Story (December, 2006)
Jeff's Note: This is a post from an initial blog we began in December of 2006, when the adoption journey became "official" for us. At this time, we had completed an exhaustive application and home study process that began in June, 2006. About a week prior to this posting, we had completed our formal adoption package (dossier) and sent it to China. The wait for Claire began ...
23 December 2006
The Christmas Story
Dear Little One:
Your story actually starts with another story ... the birth of Jesus Christ. It is the greatest adoption story ever told. I never thought about it that way until I started reading some stuff from Steven Curtis Chapman, a Christian music artist and himself an adoptive parent of three little girls from China. Chapman and his wife Mary Beth also have founded an organization called Shohannah's Hope, which is named after one of his three Asian daughters and focused on mobilizing the body of Christ to care for orphans around the world.
Adoption, Chapman writes, is the perfect picture of what God has done for each of us in making us His children through Christ. Check out what the Bible says in Luke, Chapter 2, Verse 10: But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in a town of David a savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord."
Jesus, the son of God, came down from heaven to earth on Christmas. He cast aside His divine being and took on human form so that He could become a God who walked
and talked face-to-face with the people He loved so much. Jesus became the light and hope of a world who desperately needed it. In His short 33 years on earth touched hearts, changed lives and produced miracles. Christ changed water to wine. He talked with the poorest of the poor, while others treated them as outcasts. He healed the sick. He fed the masses. He walked on water. He calmed stormy seas. He challenged false authority. He gave sight to the blind. He raised Lazarus from the dead. He washed the feet of His disciples. He taught us about forgiveness, grace, compassion, mercy, humility, hope, joy and love. He was literally heaven on earth.
Jesus kept it pretty simple for us (He knows us well). In order to follow Him and glorify God in our lives, we need only remember two things:
1. Love God
2. Love each other
"For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."- John 3:16
The life of Jesus Christ is not as much about Him coming TO us, as it is about Him coming FOR us. Jesus' time on earth was temporary. So is ours. God's true design for us is to live an eternal life with Him in Heaven ... a place so glorious that none of us could possibly imagine it. We are all treasured children of the most high God. I think about it this way: Jesus Christ is the world's greatest adoption agency. It doesn't get any better than a home Heaven, and Jesus is the one who takes us there. If we sign up with Him, believe in Him, profess Him to be the leader of our lives, and model our lives as best we can after His ... we will have eternal life in God's forever family.
For Helena and I ... Jesus Christ is the leader of our lives, our marriage and our family. We stumble and misstep everyday. But Jesus gives us unconditional love. We get back up, ask Him to show us the way and start fresh. Love Each Other.
Helena and I also believe that building our family through adoption is one way we can glorify God with our lives here on earth. As Steven Curtis Chapman points out, God calls after His children to care for widows and orphans in the book of James (1:27).
On Christmas morning this year, all of us will be blessed with presents to open, family to gather with, warm homes, and unconditional love. Meanwhile, for millions of orphaned children in the United States and across the world, Christmas only highlights for them what they don't have and so desperately want and need: a family. Despite the abundance in our lives, our hearts will be a little empty this Christmas morning.
Our deepest desire is to be parents. We realize that one --- maybe two --- Christmases will pass by before we celebrate the glory and majesty of Christmas with a little child in our home. But Christmas is about believing. Christmas is about hope. Christmas is about miracles. We believe our miracle will come ... Some Day.
And the funny thing is, just like Jesus ... you won't be coming TO us. you'll be coming FOR us. We pray that you'll believe this Christmas. We do.
Welcome to your story.
Love,
Mom & Dad ... waiting patiently
23 December 2006
The Christmas Story
Dear Little One:
Your story actually starts with another story ... the birth of Jesus Christ. It is the greatest adoption story ever told. I never thought about it that way until I started reading some stuff from Steven Curtis Chapman, a Christian music artist and himself an adoptive parent of three little girls from China. Chapman and his wife Mary Beth also have founded an organization called Shohannah's Hope, which is named after one of his three Asian daughters and focused on mobilizing the body of Christ to care for orphans around the world.
Adoption, Chapman writes, is the perfect picture of what God has done for each of us in making us His children through Christ. Check out what the Bible says in Luke, Chapter 2, Verse 10: But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in a town of David a savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord."
Jesus, the son of God, came down from heaven to earth on Christmas. He cast aside His divine being and took on human form so that He could become a God who walked
and talked face-to-face with the people He loved so much. Jesus became the light and hope of a world who desperately needed it. In His short 33 years on earth touched hearts, changed lives and produced miracles. Christ changed water to wine. He talked with the poorest of the poor, while others treated them as outcasts. He healed the sick. He fed the masses. He walked on water. He calmed stormy seas. He challenged false authority. He gave sight to the blind. He raised Lazarus from the dead. He washed the feet of His disciples. He taught us about forgiveness, grace, compassion, mercy, humility, hope, joy and love. He was literally heaven on earth.Jesus kept it pretty simple for us (He knows us well). In order to follow Him and glorify God in our lives, we need only remember two things:
1. Love God
2. Love each other
"For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."- John 3:16
The life of Jesus Christ is not as much about Him coming TO us, as it is about Him coming FOR us. Jesus' time on earth was temporary. So is ours. God's true design for us is to live an eternal life with Him in Heaven ... a place so glorious that none of us could possibly imagine it. We are all treasured children of the most high God. I think about it this way: Jesus Christ is the world's greatest adoption agency. It doesn't get any better than a home Heaven, and Jesus is the one who takes us there. If we sign up with Him, believe in Him, profess Him to be the leader of our lives, and model our lives as best we can after His ... we will have eternal life in God's forever family.
For Helena and I ... Jesus Christ is the leader of our lives, our marriage and our family. We stumble and misstep everyday. But Jesus gives us unconditional love. We get back up, ask Him to show us the way and start fresh. Love Each Other.
Helena and I also believe that building our family through adoption is one way we can glorify God with our lives here on earth. As Steven Curtis Chapman points out, God calls after His children to care for widows and orphans in the book of James (1:27).
On Christmas morning this year, all of us will be blessed with presents to open, family to gather with, warm homes, and unconditional love. Meanwhile, for millions of orphaned children in the United States and across the world, Christmas only highlights for them what they don't have and so desperately want and need: a family. Despite the abundance in our lives, our hearts will be a little empty this Christmas morning.
Our deepest desire is to be parents. We realize that one --- maybe two --- Christmases will pass by before we celebrate the glory and majesty of Christmas with a little child in our home. But Christmas is about believing. Christmas is about hope. Christmas is about miracles. We believe our miracle will come ... Some Day.
And the funny thing is, just like Jesus ... you won't be coming TO us. you'll be coming FOR us. We pray that you'll believe this Christmas. We do.
Welcome to your story.
Love,
Mom & Dad ... waiting patiently
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