Father's Day, 2008

I Know Your Name, I See Your Face

Dear Claire:
It is Father's Day, 2008 and I believe that I am the happiest father on the planet!

Claire. I finally know your name! For so long, now ... I've written and thought about a child who I could only call "little one." I did not know your name. I could not see your face. I did not know if "little one" was even a boy or a girl (but I was hoping for a girl!). Your Mom and I have done our best to trust God in building our forever family. But for such a long time, I wasn't sure if my "little one" was real.

Now I know your name. Claire is our chosen name for you. We chose it because Claire means glorious. That fits you well. I haven't even met you, but I know in my heart that you are glorious gift from God. You have a name that also will forever be part of your roots. That name is Qiuxia. In Chinese, it means "clouds in autumn." I suspect you received that name because you were born on August 15, just prior to the autumn harvest in China. Put your names together ... Claire Qiuxia .. and it means "glorious clouds in autumn." I love autumn. I love the briskness in the air, I love the radiance and changing colors of nature. For me, autumn always signaled a season of renewal. And I know that will be true this autumn, when God introduces you to Helena and I and we become a forever family. I've read that you love the outdoors. Here is what the profile about you: "She would touch the flowers and grass and laugh loudly and happily whenver she saw them on the lawn. " I can't wait to take your hand, and go on some Saturday morning Daddy-daughter walks this autumn in the forest preserve near our house. I'll show you the awesome power of God as the leave change colors and nature transforms. I'll show you the glorious clouds in autumn. I believe that same awesome power of God is what brought you to us.

Now I can see your face. You are beautiful! Every time I look at you, I fall more in love with you! I can see a little girl who knows she is well-loved. I can see a little girl who loves to smile, laugh and express herself. I can see a little girl who loves to read picture books. I can see a little girl with precious dreams. I can see a little girl who will become my little princess. And then my big princess. And one day, a beautiful woman whose life and legacy is one that honors and glorifies God.

Being a Daddy has been the deepest desire of my heart for a long time. And to be honest, sometimes I wondered whether that dream would ever come true. Maybe I didn't have what it takes to be a Dad? Maybe God had another plan for me? That made me sad.

But now I know your name. I can see your face. I can imagine you. As I write this on Sunday night in the United States, I know that it is almost noontime on Monday for you. I imagine you coming in from playing outside. You are laughing. You are smiling. And as you eat lunch, you are sharing your food generously with the other children (I know that's true, because they said that's what you do!)

I also know that I'll hold you in my arms very soon. God has blessed me with a wonderful gift, Claire. The gift of fatherhood. The gift of YOU. He does have a plan for me. And He knows I have what it takes to be a Dad. And to prove it, He will entrust me to care for you --- one of His most treasured children. I'm not sad anymore! Now, I feel happy, excited, tender ... and even scared to tell you the truth.

I will love you well, Claire. I promise. Sometimes I'll get that right. And sometimes I'll probably mess that up. But ... I will always do my very best to love you well. I will claim you. I will fight for you. I will cry for you. I will be available and accessible. I will tuck you in at night. I will read you stories. I will teach you how to ride a bike. I'll take you to the park ... and then maybe Oberweiss or Dairy Queen afterward (don't tell Mommy!).

Thanks for making me the happiest Father on the planet this Father's Day!

Love,
Daddy